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Monster Media 1996 #14
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Monster Media No. 14 (April 1996) (Monster Media, Inc.).ISO
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letman04.zip
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TT1995.ZIP
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TT0719.95
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1995-07-26
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823b
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33 lines
TOP TEN SIGNS YELTSIN'S HEALTH IS IMPROVING
10. Doesn't have to rest between saying each syllable in
"Stolichnaya"
9. While still red, his nose no longer emitting sizzling
noise
8. Opened last night as the new Norma Desmond in "Sunset
Boulevard"
7. He's been taking the nurses' temperature, if you know
what I mean
6. Has begun working out with that O.J. video
5. Just filmed a new infomercial for his "Yeltsinizer"
exercise machine
4. Went to comedy club and beat the crap out of Yakov
Smirnoff
3. Looks almost as good as the preserved body of Lenin
2. His ass no longer looks like a breakaway republic
1. Blood alcohol level is back up to a healthy 53%
(Playout: "I Feel Good" by James Brown)
Letterman, Wednesday, July 19, 1995
Copyright Worldwide Pants, Inc. 1995